I was born at a time that a “Gay Cancer” was sweeping through our communities in San Francisco, New York, etc. I often joke that I was born to fight AIDS. My mother told me that when I was born she had a birth control device called an IUD (Inter-Uterine Device) at that time there was only going to be a 30% chance that I would be alive today. I beat the odds and here I am fighting!
When I was 15 years old I had to take summer health, so I would have time to fit in drama in the school year. Much like any other 15 y/o I didn’t want to sit in a classroom for five weeks during my summer break. About half way through the course we began to talk about HIV/AIDS. A little black woman, named Debra, walked into the room. She had short hair, was rail thin, and the loudest voice I have ever heard. She wasn’t the usual suspect when it comes to public health. She was upfront, unapologetic, and welcoming all at the same time.
At this time in my life I was beginning to feel “different” then the other boys.(no it wasn’t puberty) I didn’t understand why I didn’t have crushes on the girls, but instead wanted to kiss the boy in front of me in health class. I knew that maybe if I knew more about sexuality that maybe I might just understand myself. (Still don’t!)
I joined a Peer Educators group both at AIDS Ministries/AIDS Assist and Planned Parenthood. I showed up that day to the back of a church; A young girl answered the door and welcomed me inside. I am a pretty shy person in groups where I don’t know anyone. So I sat quietly and listened as they talked about everything and anything.
We continued to talk over the weeks, months, and years. Finally, I was in a place that was comfortable and open to who I was. I made friends, went to conferences and educated our peers about HIV.
I went to college and continued to work with different organizations. I moved back to South Bend in 2005 and worked for a local program that was Abstinence based programming. (Sometimes you have to sell your soul to make some money.) In 2007, I began working at AIDS Ministries/AIDS Assist…again! I am finally in job that makes me happy to go to work.
For a long time, I have been feeling that we have not listened to our ancestors and elders. We have not heard their stories. We, as the GLBT Community, have lost so many people. I want our community to feel this, to understand this! Sometimes when I am out talking to people about HIV they give me looks like I am a “crazy homeless guy”.
I wonder what is going on. Have those people who lived through this forgotten, or just don’t want to recall? Do you the youth actually care? My generation just says “Yeah, we know!”
So here I am, sitting at my desk looking at the numbers going up. I wonder what do you know or does it even matter. I have always said that the day it gets easy to tell someone that they are HIV+ is the day I quit my job.
So tell me your story! What do you want to know? What is important to you? In some small way I feel that the words of our people with heal those of us who have never heard their stories. Help us fight the fight this year. World AIDS Day is in two weeks, what are you going to do?
In my not so humble opinion, Honor your ancestors, celebrate your elders, and empower our youth.
XOXO,
Patricio
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